How can you support a loved one without making them feel guilty?

Ask rather than assume

Before bringing up weight, ask your loved one whether they want to talk about it. They may need someone to listen, practical help or simply to share a moment without talking about their health.

A simple question can open the conversation:
“What would help you right now?”

Avoid hurtful comments

Comments about portions, body shape or kilos lost can be hard to hear, even when they are well meant.

Remarks such as “you just need to eat less” reduce a complex disease to a question of willpower. Comparisons with other people are rarely helpful.

Instead, you can ask how your loved one is feeling and what matters to them.

Offer practical help

Depending on what they would like, you can:

• cook a meal you both enjoy together;
• suggest a walk or an enjoyable activity, at their pace;
• help free up time for an appointment;
• go with them to a consultation if they wish;
• share activities that are not centred on weight.

Help should remain an offer, not monitoring.

Respect treatment choices

Taking medication or having surgery does not mean choosing the easy way out.

You can ask questions and express your concerns respectfully. The decision belongs to your loved one, together with their care team. They remain free to share the details of their follow-up or not.

When weight goes back up

Weight regain should not become a cause for blame. You can encourage your loved one to get back in touch with their team and ask them what support they need.

“I’m here if you want to talk or if I can help” is often more useful than another piece of dietary advice.

At the Centre

With the agreement of the person concerned, a family member or friend can take part in a consultation to better understand the care pathway and how to offer support.

Weight stigma and discrimination

Medical review of the French version: Dr Pierre Fournier

Scientific sources and references

Sources accessed on 15 October 2026.

1. Rubino F, Puhl RM, Cummings DE, et al. Joint international consensus statement for ending stigma of obesity. Nat Med. 2020;26(4):485-97. doi:10.1038/s41591-020-0803-x. View source
2. National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases (NIDDK). Talking with Your Patients about Weight. Last reviewed August 2023. Guidance for clinicians, cited for its principles of conversation (asking permission, respectful language). View source